One of the things I realized today about getting older is that we will see many of the people and pets we know pass to the other side. There will be many losses, and many things, places, and ideas we need to let go of. The dreams and ideas that die with our pets also need to be grieved. Losing my two therapy pets means mourning that part of life, too.
Doing pet therapy work opened my life in many ways. There are so many opportunities to visit so many different types of people when you are doing pet therapy. Lucie (my Bichon) and I did pet fashion shows to raise funds for shelter pets. We let children “read to a dog”, where Lucie learned to not be afraid of kids anymore. We went into the locked mental health ward and visited patients and comforted people in hospice.
I watched my dog grow into an amazing soul that I didn’t even think she was capable of being. It was a journey with her, one that I never could have anticipated when we first met. Lucie had been almost shell shocked from abuse when I got her, and she seemed to not be the sharpest stick.
Thinking about this idea of a journey, that is kind of what the journey adopting an animal is. I remember the first show horse I got- Magic- she won the first futurity I ever entered- in four classes I had 3 buckles- and my life changed forever. What was something that I thought I would try, became my new way of life. Then when I bought my next horse, I won a world championship with him, and it changed my life again. I spent twenty years showing horses, but I never knew that would be case when I first brought Magic home. After that, I bred her and raised seven babies from her. Once again, she changed my life for the better.
When you lose a partner like that, like I have had with a cat, many horses, dogs- where you not only are family, but you are doing something together as a team, the grief is also for the loss of the experiences you had together. Then you have a choice. You can either find a new partner to continue the prior path or stop doing the activity.
It isn’t always easy finding a new partner. It is hard to put an expectation on a new being before you know them. Of course, I wanted to find a pet therapy partner as soon as possible. But then I rescued a very traumatized Havanese who does not enjoy being touched by humans, and sweats profusely through her paws whenever she is stressed (She is stressed if she is within six feet of any human besides me). She would not enjoy being a therapy dog, even if it was possible.
I do not want to make her into something she is not. Yet I still have grief and longing for Lucie, because I MISS having a therapy dog! If I had a replacement for her, perhaps I would be making new memories of pet therapy and not missing Lucie so much.
When you bring another soul into your life, it is a journey. There will be lessons to learn together, challenges, joys, discoveries. Each journey is unique. I had four all-around horses, and while they all did the same events, they would excel in one category or another. I would learn more about horses from each of them, acquiring horse sense.
My cat Spike lived with me for sixteen years, then returned reincarnated in another body for three and a half. Then he told me I had learned what he had come to teach me, and that he had to go. I believe that some pets come for us to learn things together, and then we move on to the next lesson. That road may lead places we never thought we would go. But the journey will be memorable. A journey so memorable, we will have to grieve it when it is over.
At Pet Perennials, we understand that every pet leaves behind more than memories, they leave lessons of love that shape who we are. While nothing can take away the pain of loss, honoring your pet’s life with a thoughtful sympathy gift can bring comfort and healing. Our keepsakes and remembrance gifts are designed to celebrate the bond you shared, while reminding you that love always continues. Because just as our pets teach us, there is always more love to give - and always more room in our hearts to remember.
Ann Hoff is a well-known Animal Communicator, Intuitive Medium, and a regular contributor to our FB Group “I Am not Crazy Because I Talk to Animals” and leads a monthly Zoom call with members wishing to chat with a pet, or simply ask Ann a question. This month's content addresses the earthly lessons we learn through loss.
