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The Raw Edge of Grief by Ann Hoff

Lori Davidson | 30 August, 2023

            The Raw Edge of Grief Blog by Animal Communicator Ann Hoff PetPerennials.com

I am someone who enjoys live comedy. I am an artist, and an artist is always creating themself; interacting with the environment and commenting on it, taking it in and letting it change us. There is something inspiring about living on that raw edge, an edge you don’t see very often in daily life. For me, that edge is a breath of cold fresh air. Which brings me to the comic Marc Macron and his HBO special. It was bittersweet; his girlfriend got Covid, and he got called in to see her one last time in the hospital before she died. At first, he didn’t want to go. Then he talked to a friend who said he would always regret it if he didn’t see her before she passed. So, he went, and he shares how ghostly it was to drive in New York during lock down and Covid.

He then went on to talk about how he talked with her before every comedy show, and how the comedy shows gave him something to look forward to. Besides, he said, he had cats, he KNEW how to grieve. 

“I have three cats that I love. In the best case scenario, I’ll have to have them all killed. I AM GOING TO HAVE TO KILL MY FRIENDS. I knew it going in- that’s how big my heart is.
                        –Marc Macron

There is this saying that the more dogs/cats you love and lose, the bigger your heart gets. If you are lucky to live for years with pets, you have a humongous heart that radiates love. Plus, you can feel all the love from the pets you’ve loved that are in heaven; the love doesn’t die.

Some say that God planned it this way. That we come into our lives and establish ourselves, and then our pets join us. We get to be their parent, friend, and counterpart for their entire lives. Or, if they are a rescue, they may have had a rocky start, but together you find a love that is yours alone. Every pet I have ever talked to has a spiritual purpose for their human, and we both grow as souls because of this relationship. In God’s Universe, it doesn’t matter who you love, just that you love and are loved back. This is true with horses too. Some of my best life lessons have been with horses. I learned not to blame another through my relationships with them and realized that if I didn’t blame them for things going wrong, but looked at my own actions, our performances got better.

I agree with Marc Macron’s statement about how cat lovers have bigger hearts. Cat lovers have hearts that have been broken more than once, I guarantee it. For the 11 years I have done fosters, I have lost babies, saved babies, felt inadequate, felt like my sanity was being challenged (seriously, with young kittens you MUST feed them every 2 hours). I’ve felt the thrill of saving someone from a tragic illness and the pride of adopting them out to their loving forever homes. I have gotten to see the day they start hearing, the day they start walking, and just how amazingly resilient and fearless kittens are when young. When I think about it, fostering kittens feels like being out there on that raw ragged edge of life where all the action happens. Just like stand-up comedy.

The Edge of Grief by Ann Hoff on PetPerennials.com blog

See to have a meaningful happy life, it doesn’t matter if you do what someone else wants you to do or marry differently than you love. It matters that you do something that makes you FEEL alive, that makes you feel so alive you vibrate! That when you do have to “let go” of your friend, you’d do it all over again because it is such an amazing time.

Look, I know first-hand that cats don’t lose consciousness from life to death. While we are crying over them inconsolably, they are in heaven having a blast. I have had lost cats tell me they would rather die and come back then walk five miles back to their owner’s home. They are going to be fine. I have even become okay with that because I am in, and so therefore understand, this dimension of duality. I miss their physical body that comes with being in this dimension. It is also one of the things people in heaven miss, being able to hug people. So, my suggestion is this: BE HUMAN. Love, cry, grieve. And then do it all again tomorrow.

I want to know my cats so intimately that I recognize them when they reincarnate back to me. That I know them so profusely I don’t miss them when they go to heaven because they are one with me. I have learned to breath in every molecule of interaction between us, treat it like raw honey, a precious commodity. I try to remind myself to not take my pets for granted, but instead enter their consciousness; the best snuggles, the most wonderful smelling grass, the hawks trying to talk to us. Samson and I can talk to each other telepathically as fast as I talk to any human out loud. It brings our relationship up to the next level. It brings you out to that raw and ragged edge- where you KNOW. You know that as long as you are breathing, there will be more love, and there will be more beings needing you. That is what your life is about, going from one amazing adventure to another. Yes, there will be dark nights in your soul, but there will also be generosity and grace.

Buddha said that all suffering comes from clinging. That’s what I find happens when depression or grief refuses to move. We are clinging to something, probably because we feel we didn’t appreciate it enough in the first place. So, if you feel stuck, wallow in the grief for a few days. Then move forward. Find the friends that have come to earth for you and go out on that ragged edge. It is where all the life is. As long as you are still above ground, there is always more to love.

 Ann Hoff is a well-known Animal Communicator, Intuitive Medium, and a regular contributor to our FB Group “I Am not Crazy Because I Talk to Animals” and leads a monthly Zoom call with members wishing to chat with a pet, or simply ask Ann a question. This month's content addresses the earthly lessons we learn through loss.


Know someone experiencing loss? Help heal a broken heart by letting them know you care. PetPerennials.com offers unique and thoughtful gifts that remember the love shared between the pet and his "hooman". 




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