Losing a pet is heartbreaking 💔 but within the grief are lessons of love, resilience & healing.  

Whenever I have an experience, I have to go through that is painful or difficult, I always ask myself: “What am I to be learning here?” This is the most important question you can ever ask yourself about a life lesson or experience, because if you learn the lesson the experience is meant to teach you, you won’t need to repeat it and have to experience that pain in the same way again. An example of this is a person who marries an addict, goes through breaking up with them and making the horrible decision of leaving, only to marry another person who is an addict. Some people feel that they are “broken,” or that they make bad choices. But the reality is they didn’t learn what the situation was to teach them, so it had to be repeated.

There is a saying, “First God taps you on the shoulder, then he pushes you, if you still don’t get moving, he shoves you, and if you still aren’t getting it well, you’re going to get thrown off the cliff next.” The lesson gets more pronounced and harder to ignore. This is because you are SUPPOSED to be learning something, and if you aren’t getting it, the clues keep coming. There are two ways to learn our soul lessons on this planet. The first is the lesson of opposites- where for example you are born into a household of people who hate you so you will claim your inner light and see that you are totally loveable. The second is through joy. To learn through joy, we MOVE TOWARDS our lessons in life, we embrace them, learning from joy instead of pain.

This theory has made me quicker to embrace change, to leave a situation where I don’t feel comfortable at much faster speed than I used to. For example, when I am in a situation that I do not feel enjoyment, I ask myself why I am there and what I am supposed to be learning. If it is just that this type of situation isn’t for me, well then it is time to go, and I will ignore situations like that in the future.

Which brings me to the grief and sadness of losing a pet. I have seen countless people tell me that they NEVER EVER want to go through the pain of losing a pet again. That it was just too hard, something they will never get over, something they cannot possibly go through again. More so even than I have heard people complaining about the very human heartbreak of relationship break up. People seem to run willy-nilly back into new situations that are incredibly unhealthy and think nothing of it. But losing a pet can be something so horrendous they were never going to put themselves through that again.

What are we to learn from the incredibly painful death of a pet? It can be different for each one of us, I never make sweeping generalities and feel they pertain to everyone. For me, I have learned several important lessons.

I believe our pets come to us with a purpose. That purpose could be to make you laugh more, to make you feel more loved, to support and ground you, or anything that is need by your soul at that time in your life. Once that purpose is accomplished, many times the pet leaves. We are still connected with them on the spiritual plane and will see each other again. For now, they have done their job and left when it was finished. My cat Spike reincarnated back to me once. Then several years into that body, he told me he could no longer stay, our time together in physical form had come to an end. Now, about once a month, he does a walk in with my current Orange Tabby, and I know it because Redford suddenly has one black whisker like Spike did (I think it is amazing this happens). I had to accept this. You don’t drag your first-grade teacher with you your whole life. You will never forget her, and she is in your memory, but you are now learning things she doesn’t know how to teach.

There is always more to love. I believe this through my whole body. If there was no reason for you to be alive, you simply would not wake up in the morning. But you did. Which means the Universe is not finished with you yet, there are new adventures, new pets to love, new lessons to learn. It does not take away from your love and devotion to your previous pet to get a new one. Actually, your pet that has passed, taught you to do this. They helped you grow your heart to be more expansive and loving. I know for myself, each dog I get I treat nicer. I know how to be with a dog at a deeper level. They have taught me about unconditional love, of that being more important than surface relationships.

There is a need for homes for pets. I believe that these beings come here for humans to make the choice for love. They are loving beings, and we are given the opportunity to live with them, ignore them, or hurt them. So many are lonely from the lack of love, and pets teach us that love comes with responsibility.

We learn to be less selfish. When a client experiences the death of a pet, they are most concerned about doing what is best for the pet, that they have quality of life, that they are not in pain, that their wishes for crossing are known and respected. I ask my Angels to give me the most complete information I need so I can make a responsible choice for them. With my pets, that meant keeping my cat Elvis alive six months more than his diagnosis by cooking him baked tilapia every night. With my dog Gracie, it meant acknowledging that her cancer had progressed to the stage that she would feel more comfortable crossing over instead of spending money and time trying to keep her alive but miserable. Even though I would miss her, I knew I didn’t want her to suffer. We learn how to do right by our pets, even through our grief.

These are but a few of the lessons I have learned through my life with my pets. Each death is different; each has their own incomparable grief. That you feel not whole when you lose a pet, but another will come into fill yet another portion of your heart. I have lost so many pets I have a tapestry of grief and gold, for having known them, having been changed by them and having the richness of a pet filled life.

What lessons have you learned from your pet?

At Pet Perennials, we understand that every pet leaves behind more than memories, they leave lessons of love that shape who we are. While nothing can take away the pain of loss, honoring your pet’s life with a thoughtful sympathy gift can bring comfort and healing. Our keepsakes and remembrance gifts are designed to celebrate the bond you shared, while reminding you that love always continues. Because just as our pets teach us, there is always more love to give - and always more room in our hearts to remember.

Ann Hoff is a well-known Animal Communicator, Intuitive Medium, and a regular contributor to our FB Group “I Am not Crazy Because I Talk to Animals” and leads a monthly Zoom call with members wishing to chat with a pet, or simply ask Ann a question. This month's content addresses the earthly lessons we learn through loss.