I have been lucky enough to have all the dogs I’ve owned live at least until age ten. With that, none of those deaths have been from old age. Two have been from cancer. Another was a horrid accident that happened right in front of my eyes; my bichon walked between two of my horses, who were fighting. One of the horses reared up and came down right on the shoulders of my bichon. A thousand-pound horse landing its full weight on the shoulders of a 20-pound dog.
Amazingly, she was still alive. I rushed her to the Vet hospital. Fourteen hours and $6,000 later, we took her off life support. My dog that had been healthy that very morning, was dead. In those moments, it didn’t feel real, any of it. From seeing the event to burying her, I moved along on a stoic autopilot.
Then came the silence afterwards. Waking up in the morning, those few peaceful moments when you come back into reality and you think nothing is wrong, that everything is as it should be. Then the realization that nothing is as it should be. There was no dog in the house.
I had to turn off the radio because every song reminded me of her. My stress relief had been walking my dog, and now there was no dog to walk, plus the thoughts and memories of what happened severely depressed me. I could spend all day and night in bed, but I had to get out to feed the horses and take care of the cats. At least those activities helped get me some sunshine, which comes with Vitamin D and Serotonin. My remaining animals helped me move forward, to keep pushing me forward in order to get out of bed in the morning.
There came a day when I laughed at some of the antics my cats were doing. Pets are great that way, they know just how to make you laugh. I have talked to many pets that have said that is their main purpose for their owners is to make them laugh. Let’s face it, grief is dismal. The best thing to do is to take a breath and take a break. This is the reason that when Christopher Reeves had a life changing fall from his horse, Robin Williams came in clowning and telling jokes. To take a break from the grief and seriousness of the situation.
If you look at the emotional guidance scale. (From Ask and it is Given by Abraham Hicks), grief, fear, depression, powerlessness all fall at the lowest vibration. You need to be at the higher vibrations to manifest and create your life. You need to be at a higher vibration to simply feel better. Watching a funny movie or taking a break from the grief is empowering- it helps you not feel like such a victim. Our default natural state isn’t despair or grief, it is joy. What the Angels say to people I work with is that “God loves us too much to force us to be happy.”
Your pet will still be gone when you wake up in the morning. But take a few minutes to revive you soul, to help you lift the curtain of grief a little bit and see the absurdity in life. This will help you realize that the grief is a cloud that is sitting around you, it is not WHO you are. That you will go back to living your life. You will be happy again. Hopefully, you will heal yourself by bringing another pet into your life.
We never know when a tragedy will occur, coming over us with a wave of grief so devastating it levels us. That is why we need to appreciate the humor, the joy, and the simple everyday presence of those you love. Remember, that though you are grieving the loss of one family member, the other pets and humans in your household are as precious and deserve you to be present with them.
Ann Hoff is a regular contributor to our FB Group “I Am not Crazy Because I Talk to Animals” and leads a monthly Zoom call with members wishing to chat with a pet, or simply ask Ann a question.
Pet loss is difficult. Remember to reach out to someone in need. Show them you understand their pet was their family and their loss is real. One small gesture may make a world of difference.
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