If you’re dealing with unresolved grief, or are unable to express strong emotions, you need to check out Anderson Cooper’s podcast called “All There Is.” The topic is always grief, but it is so insightful, authentic, and accurate, the podcast is a joy. We are on this journey called life to learn, and I am always thankful for the seekers who bring nuanced topics into the mainstream. Anderson started his interest in this topic because he realized he had been suppressing his grief for decades. He states that he developed strategies to protect himself from grief as a child, and now those strategies are working against him. He found the grief that he buried as a child had risen, and he couldn’t run from it anymore.
I know I have said this on the blog before, but it is great to hear someone of notoriety speaking about repressed grief. If we don’t feel our grief at the time, we carry it with us, and it numbs us. Then that is energy that we don’t use to be alive. I know there are appropriate times to show your grief, and sometimes you must put it off. Or you aren’t ready to deal with it at the present time. Many times, I have been in shock and that must wear off to truly grieve. This is compounded by the fact that most of have been told, “it’s only a pet” when you are sad about losing your beloved animal and best friend. My parents used to say, “Go ahead and cry you’ll just make yourself sick.” (I would too. I would cry until my sinuses stuffed up and then I would be sick for the next week or so. Like Anderson Cooper, I didn’t cry for twenty years).
It is necessary in some instances to delay your showing your grief by crying, it is not healthy or authentic to suppress it forever. Luckily, it is more well accepted today that showing emotions is a realistic part of living. I did a retreat with Elizabeth Kubler-Ross in my twenties and learned that I had to cry again. Luckily, everyone there was sharing the most painful parts of their lives, and so I had ample opportunity to cry. In fact, I cried so much that my jaw started to spasm. I also found out that weekend that I could cry and not get congested. It happened because my parents had told me it was true.
Are you, like Anderson Cooper, using strategies to protect yourself and keep your feelings buried? Are those strategies still effective for you or are they standing in your way of having an authentic life and close relationships? When you reclaim your energy that has been frozen in unexamined grief, you feel so much lighter. When I help women get over the deaths of their pets by channeling them from the other side, they always come back to me later, shining with newfound joy. It is like a weight is lifted off their shoulders they didn’t even know was there.
Anderson talks about being 57 years old, and his voice still cracking when he thinks of his father dying 47 years ago. This is what the psychologist, Frances Weller, says to him about it.
“To the boy, to your heart, time doesn’t matter at all. It is grief that hasn’t been fully honored. There is a request from the soul, from grief, which says we must honor these losses.” My Angels want to add to this statement that the voice of your soul never gives up on you.
Life doesn’t come with an instruction book. Many of the strategies that our family handed down to us are harmful, and we don’t even know it. There isn’t one way to grieve. Every loss is different, and you deal with it from different places in your life, sometimes you are more vulnerable or resilient than others. The biggest thing to realize is that you can ask for help. I trained with several grief counselors and use all the tools I have learned from each of them. What it comes down to is that we are all human, we all suffer loss, and it makes us a more multi-dimensional energetic being. The wounded spots are where the light comes in. Our pets love us so completely, they make us more loving, more vulnerable, more human. On the chance of sounding corny, you need rain to make a rainbow- that gorgeous thing of tears and light. There is always a gift in loss, even though at the time we hardly ever see it.
Anderson has an online grief community at All There Is and has a video version of the podcast on YouTube. Frances Weller’s book is: “The wild Edge of Sorrow, Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief.”
Ann Hoff is a well-known Animal Communicator, Intuitive Medium, and a regular contributor to our FB Group “I Am not Crazy Because I Talk to Animals” and leads a monthly Zoom call with members wishing to chat with a pet, or simply ask Ann a question. This month's content addresses the earthly lessons we learn through loss.
Pet Perennials Gift Perks Service becomes a compassionate ally for pet-centric businesses, offering a seamless and affordable solution for expressing condolences. Through unique products like the Healing Hearts Candle, the Crystal Rainbow Suncatcher, and the Pet Perennials Garden Kit, and more, businesses can build lasting emotional connections with clients, reaping the benefits of goodwill and loyalty in the process. There are gifts specific to the loss of a horse, and sympathy cards for horses also available.
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