As a medium, I am often humbled by what I hear from beings on the other side. They mention things I have never thought about, and state things in ways that I am literally astonished by the brilliance. This happened when I talked to a dog on the other side for a client today.
The clients of course had called for another reason, but the first thing that appeared to me was a dog. He was so excited to connect again and wanted to share with him that he was healthy again and out of pain. Then he came through with what was the message he most wanted to convey: that they had done everything right with the way they handled his death. He didn’t want them to feel guilty. That was the last thing he wanted. He knew that they were spending time worrying if they had done the right thing- if they had put him down too quickly or let him suffer too long. Should they have tried to treat his illness, keep him alive longer, or would that cause him to suffer even more. These thoughts stayed with them through the two years he had been gone, and they still weren’t sure they what the right answer was. In fact, the woman started crying because the whole ordeal had been so stressful, even though it had been two years ago.
The dog wanted to put their minds at ease. He said as soon as he was on the other side, he was in heavenly bliss. All his pain was gone. He showed me a picture of him running, jumping, and twisting in mid-air. The owners said that was his favorite thing to do when he was alive, and he wanted them to know he was whole again, he could do the things he did when he was young. He was with the grandparents of woman of the couple (in heaven) and shared how the grandpa was throwing ball for him.
Then he got serious. This dog said that he loved these people more than they could believe possible. That he was grateful to have had ten years together, the love they shared, the great laughs and car rides they had. He brought up that his life was over a decade, and how his death and illness was just a few short weeks. That he didn’t want his memory to be about how he died. He wanted his memory to be about how he lived, how he loved them, how great a dog he had been. He did not want even a glimmer of a shadow of guilt to tarnish his memory.
Then one of the Spirit Guides reminded me of a quote by Emmanuel: “Guilt is a useless emotion. It uses up energy and gives you nothing but misery in return.” I reminded this to my clients. There is no guilt in Heaven, I told them. It is a lower vibration that isn’t available in the higher realm of heaven. The thing about being here on earth is that we chose how to process our thoughts, and we can choose to be miserable if we want. “God loves us so much; he doesn’t force us to be happy” is something I hear often from the Spirit Guides.
Grief is something that we all go through. We all lose loved ones, get disappointed by loss, hurt from trauma. We need to process this grief, the last thing you want to do is hold it in. But to still feel guilty for a decision that you made to the best of your ability years ago isn’t grieving. It is suffering unnecessarily. So many pets on the other side say this to their human parents during sessions.
It reminds me of the Maya Angelou statement, “When you know better, you do better.” One of the best things I do is talk to pets when they are ill, and ask what type of medical treatment they want, how they actually FEEL, whether they want to stay on the planet or not. If takes the total burden of the decision off the pet parents’ shoulders. Many times, pets are very diplomatic, and sum up the situation much better than a human could, even while they are on this side.
I had a client that loved her Golden Retriever. The dog had been diagnosed with bone cancer, and it was quite painful. So painful in fact, that the Veterinarian had the dog on Fentyl for the pain. When my client asked her beloved boy what he wanted to do, whether he wanted to continue with chemotherapy treatment, he was groggy on narcotics, and nauseous from the chemotherapy. He had been having a challenging time eating enough. He loved his mom, and he didn’t want to disappoint her. So, he asked her this simple question. “If I never feel better than this, what’s the point? If you can tell me I will get better, completely better, I am more than willing to go through this. But if not, then what am I suffering for? I don’t want to feel like this every day, or even feel worse. I don’t enjoy being spacey and drugged. This isn’t how I want to live.”
My client knew her dog had terminal cancer. She knew he wasn’t going to be completely well again. I shared with her that when her dog died, he would be out of pain. In heaven, he would be feeling healthy like he wanted. This gave her the courage to make the decision to let him cross over. It also allowed her to process her decision fully and make it without guilt that she was doing the wrong thing.
Like you, I lose beloved pets too, ones that I am closer to than I have ever been to any human. What I have asked my Angels and Spirit Guides for is that I am given all the information I need to decide about my pet’s health, and the support of competent caring healthcare workers that let me know all feasible options.
When my dog Lucie came down with IMHA, I was beside myself. The oncologist I took her to told me that 85% of the dogs who had Lucie’s bloodwork numbers were dead in two weeks. Even though I have a degree in Animal Science Immunology, had dogs my whole life and used to memorize Veterinary Science books, I had no idea what IMHA is (For your knowledge, it is Immune Mediated Hemolytic Anemia, a disease where the body turns on itself and starts destroying its own red blood cells).
I asked my Angels to get me information on this disease as soon as possible. Within 15 minutes, I received an email on a webinar on IMHA that could be watched immediately. Not only did this take away much of my anxiety, but it also made me feel reassured that my Angels were working on the issue at hand. It also helped me formulate a plan. When I talked to Lucie, she wanted to live. I had an event two days later, and I had to take Lucie with me because she was on so many medications. When I walked into the conference room, I met fellow speaker, integrative Veterinarian Dr. Richard Palmquist. He took one look at Lucie and told me she was trying to heal people without being connected to source (This was something that we could remedy). Then Dr. Palmquist also told me that traditional medicine would keep Lucie alive for the next week, but that oriental medicine would save her life. (Here it was, someone who knew the options available to save my dog). Lucie was treated with both traditional and Chinese medicine. This was when she was seven. Today, she is twelve, and on no medications whatsoever. She went through a few rough months, but she never wanted to give up the fight to live.
I have lost many pets; it is something that happens when you have animals your whole life. While the losses I have endured have been difficult, I have been grateful that those people and facts that have been made available by the angels. It has kept me from second guessing myself after I make these painful decisions. It allows me to focus on my loss and my grief, not on being guilty and remorseful for a difficult decision.
Remember that you are paying a veterinarian for their OPINION. They are not Gods. They are trained on what diseases are, how they are treated, what the statistics for outcomes of those diseases are. The thing about statistics is they aren’t the real outcome for your specific animal. For example, take these statistics about a cancer. Eighty percent of the dogs that get this disease die in the first two years. Yet some of these dogs have lived a full life with this cancer and died from something else. Both statements are true. If you have one of the dogs that live to die from something else, you have a quite different experience. An Oncologist friend of mine always told his patients that there has never been a cancer that someone hasn’t recovered from.
I see miracles in health recovery on a weekly basis. I also help pets cross over every week. It helps to know which of those two choices are likely, and what your pet wants to do. That way, when you do lose them, you are not burdened by guilt. You can focus on grieving so that you can become fully alive again by processing your emotions. Then when you think of your pet two years later, you remember what is important- the love that was shared that doesn’t die, and those totally intimate moments that belong uniquely to the both of you.
Know someone dealing with pet loss? Are you struggling with the loss of a pet yourself? Consider creating a memorial garden to your pet, gifting a remembrance to someone who is grieving, or share time with them listening to the important role their pet held in their family.