Loving Pets Who Change Us Forever
I still miss those I loved who are no longer with me, but I find I am grateful for having loved them. The gratitude has finally conquered the loss.
Whether you view this connection spiritually, emotionally, or through memory alone, the bond with a beloved pet does not end.
Grief Is Love’s Shadow
Can there be gratitude in grief? A life well lived means that you have loved much and been loved in return. There is no relationship that such unconditional love happens more consistently in than with our pets. They need us, they love us, yet they are going to have to leave us some day because of the simple fact that they do not live as long as us.
My belief is that cats and dogs come for us to make the choice for love; not turning a blind eye to the suffering in the world but choosing to take in the motherless kitten or homeless dog that we find. To choose to bring them home and find a connection with them that is far beyond what we have with most humans. To see life through their eyes and learn that there is joy in the simple things during the day. Their sleeping in a sunbeam, the bouncing of a ball, the joyful simplicity of a walk in good weather. The connection of simply being present with each other.
The more I get to know the beast that is grief, the more I realize that it is not separate from love but attached to it. If there is a beginning, in this dimension, there will be an end. Most of our pets enjoy knowing the fact that we can love them for their whole lives and be there when they transition. From their point of view, it is a life well lived if we do that for them. This is especially true if we have saved them from a situation that wasn’t optimal. They will love us forever, and know that together, we are home. They all come to be loved before they die.
I believe that being truly loved changes you. I saw it with my dog Lucie, she evolved from a timid, unintelligent dog (everyone told me she was too stupid to be a therapy dog), to the best possible therapy dog, bullet proof: always loving never being hesitant, even in the worst scenarios. I took her into the locked wings in mental wards, and she was adored there- not caring if someone was psychotic or depressed or coming down off of drugs. She gave love to them all and knew she was safe. She beamed that everyone knew her name and trusted that I would never put her in a situation that put her in jeopardy. I gave her the foundation and the chance to outshine what could have been a destiny of being afraid of people her whole life. It was miraculous, I wouldn’t have believed it if I hadn’t lived it with her.
If you have loved a pet, you know it is possible to feel that connection, to believe in that joy, to have that companionship. It is why we grieve, when it is gone, we miss that feeling that state of being, horribly. It is like a part of us is gone, because in a way it is. They bring out a dimension within us that did not exist before and may never surface again. This process is transformative; together with a valued partner, we embark on a unique journey. As a medium and intuitive, I see pets coming to their owners that are there for a purpose and many of them either reincarnate back to their humans or stay connected with them on the other side. There is no distance in the psychic world, you are always connected to what you love.
We live in a world of duality. There is up and down, good, and evil, life and death, love, and separation from what is loved. I find that I want to be grateful for the journey. I came here to have adventures, to learn about love and its shadow side which is grief. I have had relationships with AMAZING animals- learned so much about horsemanship and been a team with two horses at a nationally competitive level. This is more than my childhood self could ever dream of. I have lost both those horses, but the journey we went on together changed me forever.
When Gratitude Begins to Return
I am not saying the cloud of grief won’t surround you when you lose a pet. I am saying realize that it will be there, and it will disconnect you from the closeness that you learned to depend on with your pet. It is a fog that settles, and just like a fog, it will lift. I am still a student at this, and I have been given the gift of being able to talk to animals on the other side. I know when they first die, I am overwhelmed by my emotional body and incapable of talking to them.
But when that fog lifts, I feel them again. I know they come in and talk to me, and they reincarnate back. My current dog, Armani, has promised to let all my other dogs visit through his body. He has channeled all my prior dogs (I have only had four). He carries the joy of all of them, plus his totally individual personality. He is quite the handful.
He carries forth the joy of my past dogs, plus a magic that is all his own. If I had not processed and moved through my grief, I would still be stuck in it like the lump in your throat that never moves until you express it. But I have, (not saying that it doesn’t strike from time to time), and that frees up space for me to see my previous dogs showing up in my new dog. Reminding me of the joy that was shared once and now lasts forever in my memory and also in the dog before me.
Armani and I will have new adventures, different ones that I’ve had with my other dogs. He is actually my FIRST DOG, one I found in the field, body broken and nursed back to health. In that life he was a black and white cocker spaniel. Now he returned to me as a Cava-poo that is black and white, he told me the body is an upgrade, he is a designer dog! Thus, the name Armani. The last life we had together, my dad shot him because he supposedly bit someone. We never really got to know each other.
This life is a second chance at that joy we didn’t find before. I have no idea what his personality will develop into. But this is going to be a journey. One with adventure, joy, and love that I am sure I will grieve the loss of when it is over. Right now, I am beyond grateful that we have this second chance. The grace, the gratefulness is even greater, because of the pet losses I have sustained. I hope you find this with your journey with life with pets also.
Because until you die, there is always more to love. Cherish that. The grief makes the journey so much more poignant.
If you are navigating the loss of a beloved pet, know that you are not alone.
At Pet Perennials, everything we do is rooted in this understanding: grief exists because love was profound. When a beloved pet is gone, the heart looks for ways to hold onto that connection while learning how to breathe again. Our remembrance gifts are created to help make space for both sorrow and gratitude, to honor the life that was shared and the love that never leaves. Whether it’s a memorial frame that keeps their face close, a pawprint kit that preserves a physical reminder of their presence, a suncatcher that catches the light just as they once did, or a garden tribute that becomes a place of reflection, each piece is meant to gently support healing. There is no way around grief, only through it, and sometimes, holding something meaningful in your hands can help steady a broken heart as it learns to carry love forward.
Ann Hoff is a well-known Animal Communicator, Intuitive Medium, and a regular contributor to our FB Group “I Am not Crazy Because I Talk to Animals” and leads a monthly Zoom call with members wishing to chat with a pet, or simply ask Ann a question. This month's content addresses the earthly lessons we learn through loss.
